LFP 082 | How I Began Changing My Life One Habit at a Time

Podcast Transcript

Hey’all, it’s me Rebecca Fuller, the expert and instructor of the Learn Flute Online programs and flute education information series. Are you ready to tackle yet another part of what it takes to get confident, and love your hobbies? Let’s get started today on habit-making and how I began changing my life one habit at a time.

I don’t have a lot of time to watch television, but I love superhero shows and movies. I can’t help but fantasize a little bit about what supernatural abilities I would have in that world. Haha, I can think of a few actually.

But, here in the real world, there are also quite a list of things I’ve always wanted to be able to accomplish. Most and many of these things are pretty much out of reach for the time being, and I guess that’s why they’re still on “the list.”

A few years ago, I was contemplating and wondering how some people get to the higher levels they are on in certain subjects. I am always fascinated and amazed at those who achieve high performance — on any subject, whether it be an olympic athlete or an entrepreneur who patents their invention and sells many millions of them. How did they do it? I like to think about this kind of thing. Might be funny to you, but there is actually quite a bit of research on this exact subject. I find it very interesting.

So, during my contemplation hours a few years ago as I wondered about this I wondered if I could ever achieve some seemingly impossible skills. You know, it’s one thing to be born with a gift, and it’s another to discover the gift, use it, and nurture it to beyond the natural ability stages.

I wondered about this a lot about this time I decided that I needed and wanted to be a better educator, and in the course of learning to help others learn, I discovered that I, myself needed to become a better learner myself.

I wanted to figure out how to fit it all in, and get really accomplished.

In order to do this, I knew it would take time. I knew it would take effort.  But really, it’s not hard work. It’s actually quite enjoyable… I’ve found the secret. It just takes a consistent effort to go well beyond my natural limits. Really. It’s true.

It’s all about taking a new habit that needs to be formed and keeping with it in a systematic and educational manner until it becomes second nature. Then, something new or the next step can be added on.

Horace Mann, who was a key educational reformer back in the eighteen hundreds, said it very plainly and best. I quote “Habit is a cable, we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it.”

Did you catch the visual there? I picture those big, heavy iron cables you see coming off of the ships in a harbor. They are made of smaller strands and woven together to make something that can hold thousands of tons of pressure and weight.

When I decided to learn a set of new skills, some were pretty big so I immediately began to worry. You know how it feels. Worried I’ll never achieve something to a proficient level because perhaps I wasn’t born with the knack for it. Or, worried someone would see my try and fail, etcetera.. The normal human stuff.

Well, how was I going to overcome these invasive thoughts? They’re annoying, and I still have them depending on what I’m doing and especially when I’m embarking on a new learning journey.

I had tried to adopt new habits before, and expected myself to achieve at greater heights.. Only to find that I would lose motivation after a few days, when I noticed I hadn’t reached any level of achievement. Then I’d give up and return to my old ways. This is disheartening, and I didn’t want to be this way any more. So, this time it was going to be different.

I took a lot of time to determine what was going on with me, and I found one simple ingredient to success that I hadn’t tried before. Want to know what it is? Oh good. Well, since you’re still here listening, I’ll go ahead and tell you: It was two-fold. The first was that I seemed to only choose new skills or habits that would for most people be considered an entire life-overhaul. Big, giant, earth shattering ideas that were monstrous to look at. And then, I exposed to myself that I had a real problem with “Patience”. I lacked patience in allowing myself to be a beginner and learn something from the bottom up.

I’ll give you an example here of one of my very earliest quests at creating a new habit.. I was really trying to learn how to create new habits because I had a lot of steps to go if I was going to make all of my new goal. A few years ago, I really needed to up my game in physical health. I had a list of things I knew I needed to be doing, but I really wasn’t. The list overwhelmed me because I knew it was going to be tough to keep at all of those new things every day. .. forever. So, I pulled up my big-girl pants and decided to start with the one simple task that I could focus on every day without too much pain. Instead of trying to look at the entire giant list of things I should be doing, I chose to take one thing, do it continuously, and do it well. I was going start and end my day with a large clear glass of water. Now, this may not sound like any big deal to you, but at the time I wasn’t drinking enough water, and I knew it. My energy was lower than I wanted it to be, and this was just a first step towards getting what I wanted.

I determined that I had to be patient. Not expect a perfect score on the first few tries, and resolved to keep at it until it was easy, natural, and just part of me forever.

Haha, okay don’t laugh here, because I found that it all sounded easier said than done. I tried making tally marks on a paper to keep track of the days I kept with my water-drinking goal. Promptly lost my paper on only the third day, I tried placing glasses of water strategically all around the house in order to remind myself to drink them, and I even made a paper chain like a first grader would to keep my success going day after day.

Was I perfect? No. BUT, I found that through patience I could forgive myself for losing sight for a few minutes or days, and then just get right back on track. It’s through this patience and self-forgiveness that I was able to FINALLY make this a habit.

Once I buckled down, got on the patience wagon, and kept at it, I was able to make a permanent change.

This was just the first step to many steps that I needed.

You should take notes here: One change at a time. One to five minutes at first. Small changes. No more seeking for large dramatic changes that would overwhelm me.

I decided to take a new skill or idea all the way to ‘easy habit’ before adding another small one on. I know that doing this can do amazing things for a person. Even one new habit a month can amount to a potential of thirty six new desired skills in just three short years. That can make a monumental difference in your life. I know it has in mine.

A few more examples of my ‘patience experiment’ have been reading motivating and educational materials each day, doing pushups, achieving ten thousand steps daily, focusing on positivity and gratitude, as well as, you guessed it- making sure my flute is nice and shiny clean when I put it away daily.

What things can you dream of achieving? If it really came true would you feel like a superhero? I know I do. And, I’m not done, because the next step is now to eliminate one negative habit each month. Whoa. This is getting intense right! Nobody likes to focus on their naughty habits, but if we want to achieve real greatness, we must. Easy, small achievements with patience in mind. An example of this could be keeping from biting finger nails, popping knuckles, criticizing a spouse or family member, or whatever it may be. We all have something we can improve on. Taking ten big cleansing breaths is something we can do while controlling the urge is sometimes all it takes. These things are free. No money or time involved either. Just start small right?

Next, I determined to practice creatively on my flute each day. Sound fun? It is. I can get more into these details another day, but I wanted you all to know that I have done something with my practicing that really works. I cap my creative practice time to just fifteen minutes. Why you ask? Because I want to leave this part of my practice session (which is my new habit I’ve been forming) with a craving for the next session instead of thinking of it as a time-burden that could suck the life from my excitement faster than anything.

I know I’ve probably given way too much information on myself in this episode, but my hope is that you learn from my experiments, and find ways to feel fulfilled in your intentions every single day. I like to live life on purpose… instead of allowing life to live me.

If you’ve had a difficult time making and creating life changes like I was having, remember that trying harder and thinking you need to go bigger is possibly just the opposite of what really needs to happen.

The superhero skills come by focusing on one small thing, for a few seconds or minutes at a time, consecutively. Then move on from there.

Well, I appreciate you and your journey. I also hope that you will come to the comment sections of these audios and let me know what you think. I’m releasing these all week by week still, and will be pointing students at different discussions at different times by either linking in a module lesson or sending it out via email. So, if you haven’t had time to get signed up for the membership here at Learn Flute Online where all of the video flute lessons are as well as even more information that will help you learn how to play the flute really well- it’s definitely time to do so! We want you to join us.

See you soon!